The space between Christmas and New Year’s lays silent… usually. For a pastor, it’s often a time to unwind, withdraw, and recharge. It’s also the chance to see extended family if they live at a distance.
I value that week. After the crazy December season, I need the chance to recharge. This year… I didn’t really get it.
For the first time in years, all my cousins were getting together with all their kids. We spent a day traveling to the meetup location, a day with everyone, and then a day traveling to my wife’s family. Then a day with all of them. Then a day coming back home. And then the day after scrambling to prep for worship.
Oh, it was fantastic seeing everyone again. I enjoyed catching up.
But it was also exhausting. Essentially, I didn’t get any time to withdraw. There was no opportunity to recharge.
Worship went off without a hitch on Sunday. No problem. But then I braced. When I don’t have the chance to recharge, especially if I’ve spent a lot of time with people, that’s often a recipe for a depressive episode.
Monday came… no, I was fine. In fact, it was a great day getting a lot of work done.
Tuesday arrived. I cringed, waiting for everything to crash. But… no!
Wednesday crawled in. The kids went back to school. I could finally sigh and relax… and maybe be unable to slink out of bed? No! The day was great!
And here I am on Thursday, and still no depression. By all accounts, I should be unable to move. Today I happen to be rather tired, but not depressed-tired. What happened?
I don’t have an answer, other than the grace of God. I’ve not changed what I do. I’ve been unable to use my usual depression prevention tactics, but I’m still functional! It’s not me. Instead, I’ve been preserved.
And I’m thankful. So, so thankful. Instead of crashing, I’ve been able to be present with my family and stay current with ministry. I know that had I crashed, it would have been fine. God’s grace extends to my ministry and my family, too. But I’m glad that his grace took the form of preventing my crash this time!